I have been told that I am wickedly funny and surprisingly caring. But most of the time, these compliments were followed by the admission that their initial impression of me does not even suggest, even in the barest sense, that I could be either of those. Snob, stuck up, intimidating, SCARY, bitch…these are just some of the words that have been used to describe me. Sometimes I mind being labeled as such immediately. But more often that not, I embrace it. I can be intimidating. I can be scary. Yes, I can be a bitch. And believe it or not, there are people who do appreciate me for being exactly those.
I even have one friend who, to my utter amazement and perplexity, declared that my personality belongs to the top 5 that he admires. I couldn’t believe it because in the first place, I find it strange that he has a list like that (Sorry Fred 🙂 ). In addition, I have sensed that I am not exactly the most approachable and easiest to get along type of person. I am a bully. There’s really no point denying it given the word might as well been tattooed to my forehead since grade school. But friends and colleagues had been frank in stating that it’s one of those things that endeared me to them. Office mates who transfer to other companies message me to say they will miss being “bullied” by me. (Whatever happened to being lovable and generous?!). I guess I add spice to their lives.
To be honest, I find the whole thing amusing. And yes, very touching. The fact that they find my erm, playfulness endearing means they really did take the time to get to know me. The not so good impression did not deter them from reaching out and for that I am truly thankful.
(note: My being a “bully” is not the “I shove you to the wall then give me your lunch money” variant, ok? I just like to tease people a lot and play HARMLESS pranks.)